Yo Joan

Write to Joan at : yojoan@yoyoga.com

Veils of Illusion

Dear Joan,

I have a boss who has a very arrogant and egotistical side to him who is the master of passive aggressiveness. When he talks to me or e-mails me, he feels the need to pepper his remarks (even when they are positive) with little jabs to belittle me. When this happens, I get so irritated and I hate this negative energy that seems to wash over me. I take deep yoga breaths and keep telling myself that I need to just let these remarks roll off my back. I’m afraid I have not been very successful. This just happened today and I had a difficult time concentrating on my work so I decided to e-mail you to see if you have any advice. How can yoga help me with this?


Dear Wynne,

Non-Violence is the first step of Yoga practice. The simplest thing would be to get another job, but this does not solve the problem, unless of course, you left with kindness and love toward your boss. Think of him as the kind and loving soul he is. The rest is a mask. We are all kind and loving souls, but some of us wear heavier masks than others. Some of us have no idea how to remove this mask.

Emotional violence can escalate in the same way as physical violence but it’s often subtle and not obvious. There are so many people walking around who have been so utterly beaten emotionally they hardly know how to function in ways that are kind and caring. The emotional violence has beaten their spirits and killed their sense of joy. They have been injured, some even killed, but they manage to walk around fooling people they are alive and well.

Again, you need to see your boss as the kind and loving soul he is. This internal shift in awareness is not an easy process. In fact, many people simply give up. It is so much easier to label someone and explain away differences in this way. An internal shift of awareness is difficult for we all wear masks. You must look deeply and see through your own mask to the kind and loving soul you are. When you truly see your own beauty, the beauty around you will overwhelm you. You will be overwhelmed by love, kindness, and joy – even toward your boss. This understanding comes from deep within and shines through your eyes to him. Whether he is in your presence or not, without any words spoken, he will know your heart is filled with kindness toward him. What you need is a transformation in how you view him. This transformation begins with how you view yourself.

Let your light shine, Wynne.


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